Because there's a whole world out there.
Twist-ied Up in Knots
While the Good Book says you’re not supposed to hate anyone or anything in life, I’m afraid I fall short of that standard by publicly confessing I hate twistie ties.  HATE ‘EM.  Those nasty little paper- or plastic-covered wires that are always in the way of the most simple tasks, thwarting your progress by insisting they be attended to first.  

Case in point:  making a sandwich.  You go to the refrigerator and pull out the bread along with all the other goodies you’re going to pile on.  You 
The dreaded twistie tie
reach for the bread, and guess what?  There’s that stupid tie.  You have to use TWO hands to undo the thing.  What if you broke your hand and only had one available?  What if you’re balancing your baby on your hip?  Now you have to decide if you should put Junior down and quickly undo the tie before he wanders off unsupervised, or if you can possibly balance him while using both hands, all the while trying not to set his diaper on the surface where you’re making your sandwich?

Seriously, once you get your bread home and there’s no more fear of it falling out of the bag onto Walmart’s parking lot, why not just take the twistie off, twist the bag opening shut and fold it under the bread when you put it away?  When next you take it out, you reach for the bread, grab the twist, it automatically opens. and voila!  One hand access.  Life can be made so simple.

Then there’s the twisties they use on the cords of new electronics products or kitchen appliances.  Those twisties always cause a twinge of guilt in me.  I mean, they’re so well made, stronger than bread twisties, coated with black plastic and covering a thicker gauge of wire beneath.  Once you take them off your new equipment, you frown at throwing them away.  I mean, they’re nice looking and sturdy—and heck, they’ve only been used once. 

So, you throw them in a draw and collect them because they’re “too good” to throw away.  Deep down inside, however, you know you’ll never use them again because, well, frankly, you HATE twistie ties.  But you hate to waste things, too.  So you continue to collect them.  Can you imagine having a yard sale and putting out a tray of twistie ties for the public to buy?  “Get your twistie ties here, 25 for a quarter.”  Yeah, me, neither. 

How about going to a friend’s house and finding a bare twistie tie?  It’s been used so much that the paper has come off and you’re left with minor lacerations on your fingers, like being garroted with piano wire.  I mean, sheesh, if you INSIST on using the darn things, at least change ‘em out every once and a while so they LOOK like a twistie tie.  Otherwise, just save a lot of trouble and buy a roll of baling wire.  It’ll last you a lifetime.  Of course, you could come to my yard sale…

Okay, well, in trying to find something redeeming about twisite ties, I DID find a perfect use for them in the work of someone named justjake54.  Take a look at this photo from

These are twisties I could learn to love. Hey, maybe I still have a shot at reconciling with the Good Book after all.  Yo, justjake54, why don't you do a piece on Johnny Cash?  I have some black plastic twisties you can have. Only used once!